Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum is a pseudo-Latin motto that Offred finds carved into the wood of her closet, a forbidden message left by the Handmaid who lived in the room before her. The phrase functions as a talisman of resistance, a fragment of secret communication, and a clue that eventually reveals both the trivial origin of the words and the tragic end of the woman who inscribed them. Its journey from a schoolboy joke to a graffito of survival to a confession of despair traces the arc of hope and futility within the Republic of Gilead.

Discovery and Meaning

Three days after arriving at the Commander's house, Offred explores her room systematically, saving the cupboard for last. Kneeling in the corner where the darkest shadow falls, she finds the words scratched with a pin or fingernail: "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum." She does not know what it means or even what language it is in, but she recognizes it as a message, forbidden because it is writing, and one that has not yet been discovered except by her. She imagines the woman who wrote it as about her own age, turning her into Moira as she was in college: quirky, jaunty, athletic, with freckles. The discovery gives her a small joy, and she repeats the words to herself as a kind of prayer.

A Mantra of Defiance

The phrase becomes a private ritual. During the silent prayer that follows the Commander's Bible reading at the Ceremony, Offred silently recites the words: "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum." She does not know what it means, but it sounds right, and it will have to do because she does not know what else she can say to God. The scratched writing floats before her, left by an unknown woman with the face of Moira. Later, after the Commander asks her to kiss him as if she meant it, she retreats to her closet, stifling hysterical laughter, and traces the tiny scratched writing with her fingertips as if it were a code in Braille. It sounds in her head less like a prayer and more like a command, though she cannot say what it commands.

The Commander's Revelation

When Offred finally asks the Commander about the phrase during one of their Scrabble games, he laughs and tells her it is not real Latin but a joke. He retrieves an old Latin textbook from his shelves, dog-eared and inky, and shows her the margin where the same words are written. He explains that it means "Don't let the bastards grind you down," a schoolboy saying from his own youth. The revelation is devastating: Offred realizes that the previous Handmaid must have learned the phrase in this very room, during similar confidences with the Commander. She asks what happened to that woman. The Commander answers, without sadness, that she hanged herself, and that is why the light fixture was removed from Offred's room. Serena Joy had found out, he adds, as if that explains everything.

Legacy and Irony

The phrase thus carries a double weight. For Offred, it is a source of grim comfort and a link to a predecessor she imagines as a kindred spirit. But the Commander's casual explanation strips it of its mystery, revealing it as a piece of adolescent humor, and the revelation of the previous Handmaid's suicide exposes the limits of such defiance. When Offred later lies on the floor of her closet, she traces the words again and thinks: "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. Fat lot of good it did her. Why fight?" Yet the phrase persists in her mind, and in the final moments before the black van arrives, she considers saying it to the Commander as a kind of prayer, though she knows it is not one. The motto, born as a joke, becomes a gravestone inscription for the woman who wrote it and a fragile, ambiguous charm for the woman who reads it.